Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - October 16th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

October 16th, 2003

Cincinatti, Ohio 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 9/18/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Los Guerreros (since 9/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Tajiri (since 9/25/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

The show opens with John Cena’s music playing, but Kurt Angle walks out. Angle is dressed as Cena and raps and mimics him and calls out “Kurt Angle” and out walks a midget dressed as Kurt Angle that ends up beating up “Cena” and locking him in the ankle lock. The real John Cena comes out and gets in Angle’s face with some FIRE. The midget low blows Cena and Angle hits him with an angle slam to a huge pop from the crowd. 

1) Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham (w/ Danny Basham)

This sure does happen and the crippler taps out the freak. 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - October 9th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

October 9th, 2003

Hartford, Connecticut 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 9/18/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Los Guerreros (since 9/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Tajiri (since 9/25/03)

Before the opening package, we see replays of Vince challenging Steph to a match last week and body slamming her. 

TONIGHT: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle in a RAP BATTLE

LINDA MCMAHON makes an unannounced appearance to start the show. She says the family has always been crazy but now seeing what Shane is doing to Kane on Raw and what Vince did to Steph last week.. things are only going to get worse and she wants to talk some sense into Stephanie and HERE COMES STEPH. Steph is fired up and before she can get many words out, Vince himself comes out. He’s accompanied by Sable. Shit gets heated and Sable kicks Linda in the stomach and she & Vince leave the ring. 

Back from commercial, Rey Mysterio comes out to join the commentary team for the following match.

1) Tajiri vs. Ultimo Dragon 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - September 25th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

September 25th, 2003

Philadelphia, PA

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 9/18/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Los Guerreros (since 9/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

The show opens with Mr. McMahon & Sable in the ring ready to present Brock Lesnar with the WWE Championship and celebrate his victory over Kurt Angle last week. Vince goes to introduce Lesnar, but we get Kurt Angle instead. Vince cuts him off and says he knows he’s out here to either complain about Brock screwing him last week or ask for a rematch, but that he should be here to congratulate him. Angle says he wants to fight Brock right now and if he doesn’t come out there, he will go in the back and find him. Another unexpected surprise comes of this as John Cena’s music hits. Cena comes out and does a problematic rap on Kurt. This pisses Kurt off and he swings on Cena and Cena flees to the back. Angle says since Brock isn’t coming out, he’s gonna go to the back AND FIND THAT STUPID SON OF A BITCH. 

Angle jumps out of the ring and trots to the back. He finds Brock’s dressing room, but he’s not in there. On his way out, Cena is hiding in a closet and jumps out and lays Kurt out then flees the scene.

Back from commercial, John Cena flees the arena in a car. Kurt comes hobbling out of the garage and threatens Vince’s limo driver to drive him after him or he’ll beat his ass. They peel off after Cena. 

1) Los Guerreros (Eddie Guerrero & Chavo Guerrero) (c) vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore - WWE Tag Team Title Match

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - September 18th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

September 18th, 2003

Raleigh, North Carolina - NC State University 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

The show begins with Mr. McMahon hyping up the iron man match main event. He is interrupted by The Undertaker. Taker says he knows that Vince orchestrated the interference in his title match, but he isn't gonna mess up the title match tonight. He just wants Vince to know that he doesn't forget... or forgive. Take says he respects the title, but not Vince himself.

1) Chris Benoit & Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri & Rhyno 

This absolutely rocked. 5 minutes or whatever and not a moment wasted. Everything crisp and does its job to hype Rey/Tajiri for next week more and also touch on the bad blood between Benoit & Rhyno. I would watch this go 10-15 any day of the week. Benoit & Mysterio get the win and leave the heels reeling. Perfect little opener, I just wanted a little more time. 

Match rating - ***

TONIGHT: Los Guerreros defend the Tag Team Titles against Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin 

Backstage, it’s Stephanie, Big Show, Vince, and Sable. Vince is shocked Steph didn't quit last week, but he's not gonna fire her, he's just gonna make it even more rough on her since she wants to play it this way.

“From the GQ cover guy to the Playboy cover girl…” -Michael Cole’s transition from promoting The Rock on the cover of GQ to the following match 

2) Torrie Wilson & Nidia (w/ Dawn Marie) vs. Shaniqua (w/ The Basham Brothers) 

Another Shaniqua squash. She even destroys Dawn too after the match. 

3) Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (c) vs. Eddie & Chavo Guerrero - WWE Tag Team Title Match 

The review I had written this for match mysteriously disappeared so just enjoy my rating and know that it was really fucking good :) .. Los Guerreros win the straps too!!! YEAH!!!

Match rating - ***3/4

MEANWHILEE.... IT'S POKER TIME BACKSTAGE BEFORE DA MAIN EVENT

4) Kurt Angle (c) vs. Brock Lesnar - 60 Minute Iron Man Match for the WWE Championship

I have seen this match a handful of times. I loved it on first watch probably a decade ago. I watched it again a few years ago and I thought it was good, but not above a 4 star effort. I think my tastes are much different and more refined now, so I think my take on it in this moment will stand the test of time. Things can change, though. But as of this writing.. I fucking loved this match. Brock's dominance and control and the entire way he paced this match was just brilliant. You do see some of Kurt's flaws here in minor ways. Nothing big enough to hinder the match to a detrimental extent, and nothing Brock's strengths couldn't hide and make you forget. This is an all time Brock performance and one that everyone should see. Just absolutely phenomenal when on top and also when selling Kurt's comebacks. Kurt's selling is hit or miss as always, but he does a decently better job than you may expect. They made 60 minutes fly by and put Kurt down multiple falls due to some ref bumps and Brock blatantly cheating. Everything works, though. Somehow, it all fucking works and never drags or feels overbooked. I can't quite explain it and don't wanna try to break this down too much and over explain. I just know this was a ride. And that's what a match like this HAS to be. You can't run an exhibition for 60 minutes, you have to work these style of matches a certain way and god damn if they didn't lay out a phenomenal blue print for iron man matches to come. Kurt fighting from under almost the entire time and still coming up short at the end made the last stretch of this a fucking nail biter. At the end of this, I was still wanting more. 

Match rating - ****1/2

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - September 11th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

September 11th, 2003 

Birmingham, Alabama 

“SMACKDOWN HAS COME TO THE DEEP SOUTH…”

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

TONIGHT: John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero in a Parking Lot Brawl plus Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

In the parking lot, they’re setting up the garage for the Parking Lot Brawl later on. 

1) Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri & Nunzio 

Golden era Rey continues. This is just a load of fun. It’s all about Tajiri looking strong as he gets the pin on Rey in this super short sprint. After the bell, he smashes Rey with the belt for good measure. 

Match rating - **1/4

In Vince’s office, he’s sitting with Sable. Big Show is behind them tearing up a magazine. Vince is on the phone about to send the family of Zach Gowen some flowers. Steph walks in and asks if he’s proud of himself for what he did last week. Vince says he’s not responsible for what Brock did to Gowen and Steph refuses to believe him. Steph says Brock deserves to be in JAIL. And up walks Brock behind her. Brock wants a warmup match for his Iron Man with Kurt next week. He suggests a handicap match against Kurt Angle, The Undertaker, & Zach Gowen. None of them are here tonight. Brock says he still needs a fight, but everyone in the room he’s wrestled already… except Stephanie. Vince says that’s a money match, but he gives Steph an option.. face Brock or step down as general manager. What the FUCK lmao. 

Torrie Wilson & Nidia walk up to Dawn Marie backstage about her match with Shaniqua coming up. Nidia says “it’s suicide, baby”.. but Dawn says she has to stop her tonight. 

2) Shaniqua vs. Dawn Marie 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - August 28th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

August 28th, 2003

El Paso, Texas 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

FOUR DAYS REMOVED FROM SUMMERSLAM AND WE ARE IN EL PASO TEXAS AND HERE COMES EDDIE GUERRERO WITH HIS UNITED STATES TITLE. 

Eddie pulls up in a red car in the parking lot.. or as Michael Cole would say “the US Champion has arrived IN STYLE.” Guerrero enters through the crowd and it’s an awesome visual. Cole & Tazz meet him at the ringside and Eddie puts a huge sombrero on Cole. This was monumental. Eddie soaks it all in and begins cutting a prom on how his mom came to America and was harassed by a HONKY COP and cheated on her citizenship test. John Cena ends up coming out and cutting a pretty racist promo about Eddie and latino people. Cena says Eddie is the US Champ, but isn’t even American. Eddie gets super pissed and they get heated and into it. Eddie says Cena must be confused because he’s got about 12,000 of his homies and family here tonight. Cena shit talks his way into a US Title match for later and says it’s a shame they’re in El Paso because after he takes his title, he’s gonna take his sister and EDDIE THROWS A PUNCH AND SENDS CENA REELING TO THE FLOOR. Awesome fucking segment. After Cena leaves, Eddie puts on his Jersey and hat and imitates him. Cena tries to come after him, but Eddie tosses him to the floor again. This was a huge segment for both men. 

1) Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Nunzio - Cruserweight Title Match 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - August 21st, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

August 21st, 2003

Detroit, Michigan 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

The WWE Champion Kurt Angle opens the show. It’s his first appearance since two weeks ago where Brock Lesnar assaulted him in the steel cage and aligned with Mr. McMahon. Angle wants Brock Lesnar in the ring right now. Instead, he gets Mr. McMahon who says what we all could’ve guessed—- he’s not getting Brock or even Vince tonight. Vince says he does have a little warm up match for him, though… The Big Show. Angle says that’s fine, but he doesn’t want a match.. he wants a FIGHT. Angle and Show lock horns and brawl in the entrance way and referees have to pull Kurt away. 

Back from commercial, The Big Show is flipping shit.. literally and figuratively. It’s pretty fucking hilarious because Vince is yelling for him to calm down and then makes the match with Angle later a Falls Count Anywhere Street Fight SINCE YOU BOTH WAMT A FIGHT GOD DAMMIT!!!~~ 

1) Rey Mysterio (w/ Billy Kidman) vs. Matt Hardy (w/ Shannon Moore)

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - August 14th, 2003

WWE Smackdown

August 14th, 2003

St Louis, Missouri 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

TONIGHT: The Undertaker vs. The Big Show

Mr. McMahon opens the show. He says he is here to introduce everyone to someone that they thought they knew.. Brock Lesnar. Vince then replays what happened last week with he & Brock swerving Angle and destroying him in the cage. Vince play by play narrates the entire thing over the mic and it is HILARIOUS LMAO. “LOOK AT THAT!” Vince brings Brock out and they have a love fest. STEPHANIE MCMAHON MAKES HER RETURN to interrupt. Steph says she learned a lot at Vengeance.. she learned that her dad would hire A-Train to physically assault his own daughter just so “his slut” (Sable) could win a match. Dear fucking lord. Considering everything happening right now in real life in 2022, this segment is nuts to look back on. Steph talking about being in a position of power and her dad being a piece of shit. Vince makes a lot of derogatory comments toward women. He says the worst day in his life was when he married her mother and Steph tries to slap him. Brock grabs her arm and she screams. Vince says he can handle it, though, and since Steph wants to accuse him of physical abuse, he’ll show her physical abuse when she faces THE 350

POUND A TRAIN TONIHJT! “And that’s physical abuse…” this is fucked. 

1) Worlds Greatest Tag Team (c) vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman - WWE Tag Team Title Match

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - August 7th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

August 7th, 2003

Kelowna, British Columbia 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

1) Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit 

Ok, so obviously this fucking rules. Obviously a lot shorter than the awesome Vengeance match, but everything is snug and great. Benoit goes for the flying headbutt and Rhyno runs down & knocks him off. Benoit is pissed and dives onto Rhyno. Tajiri runs in and goes after Eddie and the ref calls for the bell. 

Match rating - ***

A huge brawl breaks out after the match. Officials come out to break it up and Sgt Slaughter gets on the mic. He says to ring the bell and WE’VE GOT A TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA. 

2) Eddie Guerrero & Rhyno vs. Chris Benoit & Tajiri 

Another great time here. It goes a little over five minutes and goes by so quickly. Tajiri mists Rhyno and Benoit german suplexes the hell out of him. This leads us to the finish with Benoit forcing Eddie to tap to the cross face. 

Match rating - ***

Backstage, Kurt Angle tells Josh Matthews he’s gonna sit down with Brock Lesnar one on one tonight to get their issues settled. 

3) Zach Gowen vs. Nunzio (w/ Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli) 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - July 31st, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

July 31st, 2003

Colorado Springs, Colorado 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)

WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/7/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Replays of Kurt Angle winning the WWE Title at Vengeance air before the opening video package. 

TONIGHT: Eddie Guerrero defends the US Title against Tajiri and Torrie Wilson & Jamie Noble have a “sleep over”

The new WWE Champion’s music hits to start the show. Angle comes to the ring and gets a mic. He’s grateful to be here and be able to say that he’s champion again after his injury that made him think he may never get to do that. Brock Lesnar interrupts and challenges Kurt to a rematch. Kurt accepts, but Vince McMahon comes out to ruin the party. He tries to stir the pot and say that Kurt came to him earlier and told him not to book a rematch between them. Kurt denies it, but Vince still says no to Brock’s rematch request and instead makes a tag match for tonight to test their friendship. Brock & Angle versus two opponents of Vince’s choosing. 

Amazing SummerSlam commercial airs of Brock being a lifeguard and F5’ing a shark. Wow. 

1) Rey Mysterio (w/ Billy Kidman) vs. Shelton Benjamin (w/ Charlie Haas) 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Vengeance 2003 Review - July 27th, 2003

WWE Vengeance 2003

July 27th, 2003

Denver, Colorado 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/7/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

This is the first Smackdown solo PPV of the brand split era. 

1) Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero - United States Tournament Finals 

My god. This was fucking great. They really let these two go out here and work an almost 20 minute barnburner to kick this show off. People talk about all time great openers and I’ve never heard this one brought up, but I’d say it should be in the conversation. The only flaw this has may just be personal preference, but in the final few minutes, things seemed to lose focus and shift toward a ton of false finishes and nearfalls and even some interference as Rhyno runs down. He seems to be trying to help Benoit as Eddie tries to cheat, but instead TURNS AND SPEARS BENOIT. And as a result, Eddie steals the win. I did not expect that. But yeah, this was fantastic, check it out if you haven’t seen it. One of the best WWE matches of the year. 

Match rating - ****1/4

Backstage, Vince has some flowers and pretends they’re for Steph, but they’re actually for Sable. 

2) Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn (w/ Torrie Wilson) 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - July 24th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

July 24th, 2003

Fresno, California 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/7/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

THE FINAL SHOW BEFORE VENGEANCE ~~

Replays air of the great handicap match from last week and the miracle work by Kurt Angle with help from Zach Gowen. 

The Smackdown General Manager Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring to start the show. Steph says since Vince is out taking care of her mother Linda after she was piledriven by Kane on Raw.. SHES GONNA TAKE BACK SMACKDOWN. Steph then turns her attention to Sable and says she’s gonna TREAT HER LIKE THE B*TCH SHE IS at Vengeance. John Cena interrupts. Cena apologizes, but says he had a dream about her last night and goes into a bunch of different sexual innuendos while rapping about her & Sable. This is the infamous segment where Cena smacks Stephanie’s ass (RESPECTFULLY WITH PERMISSION) and this brings OUT DA HELLCAT SABLE. Well.. she’s on the screen actually. Sable replays last week’s incident with all the moments where Steph had the upper hand conveniently edited out. She makes fun of Linda being piledriven by Kane and dares Steph to not wait until Vengeance. Steph storms toward the back as we head to commercial.

Back from commercial, Steph is stomping around backstage looking for Sable. She thinks she’s found her, but it’s Torrie. Steph continues the hunt. 

1) Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - July 17th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

July 17th, 2003 

Columbus, Ohio 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/7/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

Replays of Brock Lesnar in the 3 on 1 Handicap Match from last week. 

TONIGHT: …another Handicap Match.. Kurt Angle against The Big Show, Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas

Mr. McMahon hits the ring to start the show. He says last week, Brock Lesnar was taught a lesson and this week, Kurt Angle will be taught one. Before Vince can get too far, Brock comes out to confront him. Vince immediately tells Brock not to cross the boss.. Brock says he doesn’t want to cross the boss, he wants to beat the boss. Brock challenges Vince to a match tonight. Vince accepts BUT NOT TONIGHT. He also tells Brock to leave the arena because if he interferes in Kurt’s match tonight, he will be stripped of the title and fired. Brock says he understands and he also understands can’t F5 him tonight, but he can say one thing “FU.” 

1) Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy - United States Title Tournament Match 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - July 10th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

July 10th, 2003

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

WE’RE OVER HALFWAY THROUGH THE YEAR. HOW HAVE I MADE IT THIS FAR?! 

Replays of Gowen’s triumphant victory last week air to open the show.

Kurt Angle hits the ring to start the night off and talk about the triple threat WWE Title match at Vengeance that Mr. McMahon made last week. Angle tells Brock & Show to BRING IT ON. JOHN CENA interrupts Kurt and in the most puny voice ever Michael Cole says 

~”WAIT A MINUTE”~ 

God, that was hilarious. Cena has on a Wake Forest jersey. He raps on Kurt and says the arena will be empty when they finish the match at Vengeance. The main event should be Taker vs. Cena. Kurt’s  face while Cena raps is fucking hilarious. Angle says he thinks he’s finally found someone in the company who is whiter than he is LMAOOOO. This turns into the infamous KURT ANGLE RAP SEGMENT OH MY FUCKING GODODNDBSJEJEEJJ. 

“Hey, Ref, you do that beat box thing right? Come give me a funky beat.” -Kurt Angle 

As always, Kurt calls Brian Hebner to drop the beat for him. This segment is a clsssic and you’ve probably already seen it so I’m not gonna recap it, just go watch it. Cena and Angle end up going face to face and it rules. Big Show comes out and chokeslams Kurt after Cena hit an FU on him.

1) Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. The Basham Brothers vs. APA (Bradshaw & Ron Simmons) vs. Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli - #1 Contender’s Match for the Tag Team Titles

Yo!! This is cool! The winner of this gets a tag title shot at Vengenace. Bradshaw & Danny Basham lock it up early and Bradshaw destroys him. FORESHADOWING TO THE JBL CABINET IN ~2005 LETS GO. This is Billy Kidman’s return match which is sick. They do an awesome spot of chaos to send us to break with The FBI and APA fighting to the back while Mysterio & Kidman do dives to the floor to take out the Bashams. Back from commercial, APA & FBI fought through the locker room area so it’s apparently down to Mysterio & Kidman and the Bashams in the ring for the #1 contendership. This closing stretch rules. Mysterio & Kidman haven’t lost a step since teaming together in WCW and the Bashams are decent enough to be a good base for them to do their stuff. Mysterio & Kidman win a blast of a match.

Match rating - ***

Backstage, Kurt is being iced up after the chokeslam and FU from earlier. Brock Lesnar comes in to check on him and tries to joke with him. Angle doesn’t think it’s funny and Lesnar says to calm down because “we’re gonna beat that big boy” at Vengeance. Angle says “we?” It’s every man for himself at the PPV!!

Zach Gowen’s contract signing is next. Stephanie McMahon comes out to introduce him. Zach is so happy and confident after realizing his dream and honestly.. it makes me so excited for what I know is coming, Mr. McMahon showing up to ruin his life all over again and sure enough, as soon as Zach signs the contract, Vince & Sable come out. Vince says he’s happy for both Zach & Steph. He announces Brock Lesnar’s punishment for helping Zach last week is a 3 on 1 handicap match later and that Zach’s punishment is facing him one on one at Vengeance. “You might have beat cancer, but you won’t be me.” FUCK. Sable hits Steph with an object and Vince & Sable leave. 

Backstage after the commercial, Sable and Vince look to finally be about to get it on AND STEPH RUNS IN AND SPEARS SABLE OVER THE COUCH. HOLY HELL. Officials separate them and VINCE STARTS SCREAMINF. One of my favorite freak outs of his, honestly. He says if Steph wants to fight, she can fight Sable at Vengeance. Oh man.. 

2) Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Shannon Moore & Matt Hardy 

God I wish this got more time than it did. It still is awesome while it lasts. Rhyno gets worked over for a Benoit hot tag. Things break down and it rules. Benoit taps out Shannon for the win. 

Match rating - **1/2

Backstage, Brock is getting ready for his handicap match. Kurt says he musta really pissed someone off. Brock jokingly asks where Kurt will be during his match tonight but he’s confident in himself because he’s the champion and this is what he does.

3) Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon - United States Championship Title Tournament

Eddie comes out before the match and sarcastically says he sends his well wishes to Tajiri.  The crowd is still cheering him even though he clearly turned heel last week. Eddie says he’s focusing on himself now and entering the US Title tournament. This is a fun match with Dragon although it doesn’t go more than 2 or 3 minutes. Eddie steals the win using the tights.

Match rating - **

Cameras catch Billy Gunn & Torrie Wilson kissing backstage. Earl Hebner walks by right after. They’re in mixed tag action next. 

Next week: Eddie vs. Billy + Benoit vs. Hardy in the semi-finals of the US Title tournament 

4) Billy Gunn & Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble & Nidia 

This was a waste. Noble & Nidia wear some of the new clothes they got with the money they inherited and Gunn & Torrie do the ass routine. The faces win.

Match rating - *

After the match, Noble offers Torrie $10,000 to sleep with him. Billy Gunn attacks him for his troubles. Nidia looks on. 

5) The Big Show, Shelton Benjamin, & Charlie Haas vs. Brock Lesnar - Handicap Falls Count Anywhere Match 

Brock fighting from underneath and then exploding and destroying everyone is awesome. They go to the floor and Brock tries to F5 Benjamin off some steps through the announce table, but Show breaks it up. Show hits a HUGE chokeslam off the aforementioned steps for the pinfall. Awesome spot. 

Match rating - **3/4

The Big Show stands tall to close the show. 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - July 3rd, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

July 3rd, 2003

Rochester, New York 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

Replays of the Gowen/McMahon saga that led us to the handicap match that’s happening tonight.

Vince McMahon pre-tape thing to begin. He says tonight will be the first ever TRUE handicap match. Oh, man that’s fucked up. It’s Gowen & Steph vs. Big Show with a contract for Gowen on the line.

1) Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Nunzio - Cruserweight Championship Match

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - June 26th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

June 26th, 2003

New York City - Madison Square Garden

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

TONIGHT: Lesnar/Angle/America vs. Haas/Benjamin/Show 

Josh Matthews is ring announcing tonight and it’s weird. 

John Cena opens the show. He says he’s bigger than Madison Square Garden and that when WrestleMania 20 rolls around next year, he will be in the main event. He recites some lines from his theme, then does a rap. It’s the one year anniversary of him answering Kurt Angle’s open challenge so now he’s issuing an open challenge to “any rookie punk in the back looking to make a name.” 

Orlando Jordan answers the challenge and they show Billy Kidman in the crowd looking like a cool guy. 

1) John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan 

Cena throws some shade at Jordan and gets clotheslined out of nowhere for his troubles. Bell rings and they run the ropes and Jordan hits some explosive offense early. Jordan is another random person like the Basham’s that I remember seeing when I began watching Smackdown as a kid so it’s cool seeing his debut here against someone who would become quite the rival of his. Anyways, Cena finally gets his Jersey off and starts moving. He goes for an FU and Jordan escapes. Jordan fires off again and goes for a crossbody, but Cena rolls through and gets the pin. This was fun for like 3 minutes.

Match rating - **

Cena attacks Orlando post-match and The Undertaker shows up to confront him. Cena bails out as soon as Taker gets off his motorcycle and into the ring. Taker stares at Orlando as he gets up and gives him a nod. 

2) The Undertaker, Bradshaw, & Ron Simmons vs. Full Bloodied Italians (Nunzio, Chuck Palumbo, & Johnny Stamboli) 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - June 19th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

June 19th, 2003

San Antonio, Texas 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

The broadcast begins with replays of last week’s insane moment where Lesnar & Big Show broke the ring with a top rope superplex. They’re billing it as “unfinished business” with a reinforced ring. 

1) The Undertaker vs. Nunzio (w/ Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli) 

And after an amazing ending last week and a great follow up announced to start the show, we go into this terrible feud, again. Taker tosses Nunzio from the ring almost immediately. He follows him out and Nunzio hits an awesome drop kick off the apron following a distraction from Palumbo & Stamboli. And ok.. look. Sorry for writing this off because it’s an awesome squash. Taker chokeslams Nunzio onto the other FBI members and then picks him up for the best last ride of the year. 

Match rating - **

After the match, shit gets even better. Taker gets jumped and THE APA RETURNS TO MAKE THE SAVE. COLE SAYS IT BEST.. “LOOK AT BRADSHAW AND SIMMONS!” Bradshaw has his new short hair cut and hell yeah. This rocks. 

Backstage, Zach Gowan walks up on Spanky and Bill Demott talking and asks where Stephanie is. They point him to her office. Sable answers the door and says she’ll be here soon and invites him. Gowan says he’ll wait outside, Sable asks if he’s afraid to be alone with a GROWN WOMAN. Oh my fuckin lord. Gowan enters and Sable closes the door. 

They are doing a Lesnar/Show timeline recapping their whole feud. First clip is from Survivor Series 02 where Show & Heyman screwed Lesnar out of the title. 

2) Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - June 12th, 2003

WWE Smackdown

June 12th, 2003

Orlando, Florida

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

They show replays of last week’s big Rey Mysterio title victory to start the show.

1) Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Matt Hardy - Cruserweight Title Match 

Well, Hardy didn’t waste any time taking his rematch. Before the match, he slaps Crash & Shannon Moore backstage, blaming them for his loss last week. So, Hardy is going at it alone this time. Hardy charges Rey at the bell setting the tone for this match at a fever pitch. They pack a lot in here. Rey flies around and sells super well once again. Hardy is so aggressive that it costs him repeatedly, even in the finish. Rey wins with the West Coast Pop to retain. This Rey title win has already been solidified with this one match.

Match rating - **3/4

Piper’s Pit is up next. Piper & Sean O’Haire’s guests tonight are the Tag Team Champions Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri. They have food for them. Piper tricks Tajiri into giving O’Haire his tag team title belt. O’Haire doesn’t wanna give it back so Tajiri mists Piper and Eddie flips the table over and clocks O’Haire. Man.. this was satisfying as fuck because this Piper/O’Haire shit is terrible. 

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - June 5th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

June 5th, 2003

Anaheim, California 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Matt Hardy (since 2/23/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

KURT ANGLE RETURNS 2NIGHT !!!

Roddy Piper & Sean O’Haire begin the show. Piper attempts to bring out Zach Gowan as a guest on Piper’s Pit. Mr. McMahon comes out instead. He says that he’s gonna give Gowan a chance to live his dream next week. He brings Gowan comes out with Mr. America and Vince says if Gowan can beat him in an arm wrestling competition next week, he can get a contract with WWE. Hogan tries to step up to represent Gowan in the competition, but Vince won’t let him and says “Gowan does have two arms right?” Jeeeeeesus. More leg jokes as Vince leaves after cheapshotting Gowan and Mr. America runs he, Piper, & O’Haire off. 

1) The Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - May 29th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 

May 29th, 2003

Pensacola, Florida

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)

WWE Cruserweight Champion: Matt Hardy (since 2/23/03)

Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

It’s weird, but Raw has been so much better than Smackdown recently that I’m already a month ahead on Raw’s as I’m watching this. Obviously still releasing the reviews in order, but man. Going back to Smackdown after the last month of Raw is painful. Which is weird as fuck, like I said before considering Smackdown is largely the better product at this time. I think just having Vince and this Mr. America / Hogan / Piper shit is weighing Smackdown down. Anyways, onto the show!

TONIGHT: Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker vs. FBI